Have you ever started a goal, accomplished it and felt unfulfilled? Felt dissatisfied Maybe you spent hours trying to figure out a problem and found a solution, but didn’t make a difference in your life?
I completely understand. I started out getting in shape because I was being teased for being over weight. Surely once I lost weight, and build muscle all my problems would be solved. So I spent years focusing on fitness and health. Even got a college degree in it.
But what I really wanted was friends and connection. I wanted to be loved I spent years pursuing something and I should have really just learned to talk to people and learn how to connect. This is why growth is so important and why we include self development to some of our programs. If you don’t grow inside yourself, you won’t be fulfilled.
Don’t get me wrong. I love fitness and it has created a passion inside me and there are countless benefits to it. And, I could have had both sooner if I was willing to ask “Why”
Not the whole “Know your Why” idea. Like having enough reasons to follow through. Not knowing your why to create emotional leverage.
But the why of what you hope to accomplish. You could spend tons of time and energy trying to fix a problem that you made up.
There are 2 types of problems quality problems and safe problems.Just to let you know. Alot of what I share to day is from the training in the Robbins Madanes training program and studying a lot of Tony Robbins work.
- Blaming Others
- Food and other addictions
- Withdrawing from relationships
- Avoiding decisions
- Career shift
- Committing to a relationship
- Starting a family
- Leaving a relationship
- Interpersonal Communication
- Confronting someone
- Asking someone for help
We often create these safe problems so that we can avoid facing the quality problems and move to our next stage of life. If we face our quality problems we have to face our primary fears that we won’t be enough, or we won’t be loved. When we do our life expands.
I had a client the other day looking to work on time management. And we came up with great ideas, but as we went something felt off. I finally asked her what she was doing this for. And she said it was to create more time with family. The thing is though. She often spent time with family watching tv or using facebook. When we dove even deeper, we realized that the reason she wasn’t moving forward was fear of rejection and it going poorly.
The real thing she needs to face is the courage to recreate connection with her family. If we are honest with ourselves, many of us live this way in one form or another. Either by distraction, being overly busy, drinking or eating. Those are just the side effects.
The only way out of this pattern is to grow and live with courage and vulnerability. When we do this our lives become so much richer and more vibrant. The reason we don’t however is we have to face those fears. Until you fix the real problem and know the real goal you really want to achieve you will spend years deceiving yourself.
We are fulfilled when we are growing and contributing. When we face our quality problems, we have to have courage and be willing to grow. As our lives expand, you will feel so much more a live, connected, passionate, and fulfilled.
Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts!